I've been diagnosed with MS since 2002.  I have what some would call a high profiled job that I've been on for 22 years.

Hello:  I am new here and am looking to talk with spouses of people with MS.  My husband has had Chronic Progressive MS for about 17 years now.  He is in end stage now and I am finding it very difficult.  He is the most wonderful man you would want to know and I feel so bad for all of his loses.  Although I can still walk and run etc and am in no way suffering losses anywhere near to what he is, I am feeling overwhelmed.  As all of you know the health care system does not provide the help needed so the spouse (while being the only parent able to do all the parenting, housework and working full-time) must become a full-time caregiver also.  The requirements to do all these jobs and do them all well is humanly impossible.  It is hard to continue to struggle on for years and years and it is out of deep love and respect for my husband and my children that I have no choice but to keep pushing.  Unfortunately though, I am starting to break down.  The weight is overwhelming so I am looking for anyone who has been through this experience to share with.  My husband breathes at night and for a few hours during the day on a ventalator to rest his lungs as they are not strong enough to do all of his breathing.  He 'eats' from a g-tube as his swallowing mechanism has been effected by the MS and cannot function properly - if he swallowed food from his mouth it would go into his lung.  He has had many many frequent bouts of pnemonia and bladder infections causing him to have come close to death countless times.  He has not been able to move his legs or arms for many years now.  Of course he has no bowel or bladder control.  He is bedridden.  The miracle here is: he is still wonderful, still thoughful, still happy each day to see the kids and myself.  He thanks God he married me.  I have fought long and hard to keep him at home as this is where he belongs and where he wants to be.  We are still madly in love with each other.  Our children are 15 (son) and 8 (daugher).  I want to be able to keep him at home and am finding it difficult emotionally.  I am starting to get down.  I am in a state of exhaustion.  My therapist thought I would benefit from reaching out to others who are in the same situaion as myself.  My husband needs 24/7 care (that's 408hrs/week and he gets 43hrs a week from the CCAC (max amt.) and 16hrs/week from our insurance compainies.  Direct Funding (thank god for them) provides 3 night shifts and one day shift (12hr shifts).  This totals 107hrs/week and the rest is up to me.  I am (basically) the only parent of two children and work full time (off on temp leave presently).  I really need to conect with someone who has been through this to get some ideas on how to manage better so I do not completely crack.  Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.  Spare no feelings as I am an open, honest person and appreciate the value of the truth.  Are there any chat rooms for spouses of people with MS?  Any incouraging words?  Thank you!

Hello Sandy,

I think the person you're looking for is Adele.  She lives in Ottawa.  She's just left a post on Dr. Zamboni's, vein treatment.  It's in another thread in here.  Sorry I don't know the exact name.  I hope you'll find the help you need.  Take good care. xo